Have you ever not been able to get past a memory? Especially one when you were happy? Even when time has past? You are out having a great time and just living your life…thinking you have moved on but that lingering memory seems to be the ghost in the room every time. That faint remembrance that brings a slight edge of sadness to ever smile.
It is like a story that you have the fondest of emotions stirred from when hearing it and then reality reminds you that you actually lived it. It was the happiest you have known. It is even hard to talk about it because you can’t hide how you light up when you hear their name. And you hate to have to be the one to tell your heart is was wrong.
It is ever harder when unfortunately they ended up hurting you, unintentionally of course. But it still ended in a way that just doesn’t seem fair to what was felt. You know better then to feel the way you do. You deserve to be treated better. Both of you know that. That is why your heart is torn. Do you believe in what you felt in the beginning or do you remember the pain that it brought you at the end?
The memories, and if you are really brave enough to be honest, the person is like gravity to your soul. That force you can not ignore or defy even at the cost of your heart wanting to soar. The person you should probably cut out of your life but you can’t find a way to know how to want to live one without them.
If you haven’t, I don’t know if I should wish you this kind of experience or not. I know not everyone get’s to feel this. I am not naive enough to know how special it is to feel this. But this is what makes it so hard as well.
What happens after that? What is the next step? That is a good question that I don’t know the answer to yet.
One of the great things in life you can realize is it is ok to not have all the answers. You have time to be patient enough for them, especially when they really matter.
Until next time.
Christy
Currently listening : Little Voice By Sara Bareilles Release date: 03 July, 2007
1 comment:
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